The Passive – Assertive – Aggressive Continuum

People usually relate to communication based on one of three styles:

Passive communicators tend to put the rights of others before their own. Passive communicators are apologetic and/or tentative when they speak. They don’t advocate for themselves.

Assertive communicators respect their rights and the rights of others when communicating. This person tends to be direct, but not insulting or offensive. The assertive communicator stands up for their own rights but makes sure the rights of others aren’t affected.

Aggressive communicators, on the other hand, will come across as standing up for their rights while possibly violating the rights of others. This person tends to communicate in a way that tells others they don’t matter or their feelings don’t matter.

Most of us tend to have a consistent way we relate to communication, and therefore conflict.  The majority of people are either (mostly) passive or (mostly) aggressive with fewer people regularly being assertive. Regardless of where you typically land on the passive – assertive – aggressive continuum, most of us have to work to become more assertive.