Playing Favorites
The imagery was great. In my mind, I was thinking about a flame and how it can spread, but also how it could be quickly extinguished. A match needs to quickly light a candle or another match or it will burn itself out. What I imagined was the exact opposite of what the Lord was talking about. How many leaders have thrust their organizations into darkness by failing to help light another flame or intentionally extinguishing a flame?
I saw the Lord raise His eyebrow in acknowledgment of a good observation. It is always great to be appreciated by someone for a good thought, but it is even that much sweeter when it comes from the Lord. I looked at my notes. The first thing I thought was that I should have brought more paper. The second thing I thought was that I had a major cramp in my writing hand. That is what happens when you are writing non-stop. Bad habits are hard to kick. A reporter is always a reporter. I continued.
“Who is the best manager or leader you have ever worked with?”
“What a loaded question? I thought you might start off with what’s my favorite management style or is Jim Drucker the best management guru of the last 100 years? Okay, let me ask you a question first. Which is your favorite child?”
“I can’t answer that question.”
“Why not?”
“I love them both, equally.”
“Yet you want me to pick between my children?”
“Well, you love both sinners and the saints, but you can still have a favorite…right?”
“Son, you are prouder of John sometimes more than Sarah when he is playing ball, and Sarah sometimes when she is doing a dance recital. It doesn’t mean that one is better than another, just at different times and different contexts you appreciate one of them more. The same holds true for me. I’m very proud of what Noah did and his dedication when he built the ark. I’m very proud of Abraham and the sacrifice he was willing to make. I’m very proud of Moses and all the effort he undertook to help the Israelites out of Egypt. I’m likewise exceptionally proud of Joshua who was able to lead my people into the Promised Land. What is more exciting about Joshua is that he was willing to play second fiddle without complaint until his time came. I loved Ruth and her dedication and demeanor. You get the gist? Every one of them, and countless others, have been great leaders at different times and under different circumstances. King Solomon was great and exceptionally wise, but he also fell from grace at points with all his brides, horses, and money. Thus, someone can be a great leader at one point, and not so great at another point. Once again, it’s all about context.”
The screens filled with thousands of faces. I assumed they all had been leaders at various times. The Lord’s nod confirmed my analysis. We are so used to seeing only a couple of great leaders in our lifetime, but there were so many.
“Sam, there are millions of great leaders that have made my “hall-of-fame.” Some of my children have done exceptional things at certain times and merit being called a leader, even a great leader, and you probably had never heard their name. Think of all the lost civilizations who had great leaders, but you don’t know them or would not recognize their names if I told you. Thus, your context of what is great is hampered by your knowledge or lack of knowledge, timing, the people being led, good as well as bad leaders, and a host of other variables.”
“Well in the context of the Old Testament, who do you think was the greatest leader based on the mission or charge you gave them? I know you’re not trying to pick favorites, but as you said we are so focused on winning we like to know who the winner is, and that’s what my readers would love to see. It is like all those top ten lists. No one can agree on any top ten list.”
“Okay. My assistant gave me this as one of the questions you gave her last week. Based on the questions you submitted I wrote up something for you so that I wouldn’t be misquoted and that you can convey my message directly to all your readers. I wrote a top ten type list for you from My book. You are correct, people love lists. It is much better than the New York Times Bestseller’s list. This list does not rank my great aids but provides a perspective of what I think managers and leaders can each learn from these wonderful colleagues. Remember these are just the familiar names from my book. There are numerous other leaders who your readers can learn from, but they might not recognize their names as easily, so I stuck to the conventional.”
God reached into the air and pulled down a paper and handed me a typed sheet which contained the following information:
From: God Inc.
To: Sam
Re: Top Ten List
My Top Ten List for What Managers Can Learn from My Top Representatives (in no particular order)
1) Noah- Noah was able to listen to directions from his supervisor, act on them for 100 years, and then successfully executed the plan. In my book, that equals success. While he ended his career with a major failure, by becoming a vintner and focusing on that rather than starting the new world off on the right foot, he had a good run and was the best leader during his time. The key every manager can take from Noah is the dedication needed for the long run. He wasn’t interested in immediate returns but was willing to spend years working on a goal, even though he was ridiculed by those around him. That’s dedication. One example I like to use is that of a farmer planting an olive tree. He will not benefit from it, but his kids and grandchildren will and that is long term planning. Noah was planning for a world after the flood.
However, he would have been a much stronger leader if he had been able to attract followers and change the behavior of his generation. Every leader today can lead through power, albeit ineffectively, but a true leader can sell others on a vision that can’t be seen and might be years in the future. Thus, managers need to understand how to talk in a language that others can understand and will resonate with them. They need to keep on the message, even if it means saying the same mantra over and over. Every person on my list had an impact, but the impact needs to be viewed in context of the time and circumstances.
2) Abraham- I gave Abraham a charge to leave his homeland and venture out on his own. Yes, I promised him recognition, success, and a large family to get him motivated, but once he started, he was very loyal and was willing to undertake various tests to prove his loyalty. His loyalty came at a cost. When he went up to sacrifice Isaac, he still had a family but when he returned and traveled to Ber Sheva, he was without a family. He was basically alone. That did not stop him. In fact, after the test with Isaac he was without any grandkids and did not have any land of his own. He did not wait for me to give it to him. He bought the Cave of the Patriarchs from a Hittite in public sale and then sent his messenger (Eliezer) to find Isaac a wife so he would have descendants. He did not wait for success but took proactive steps. I would tell current managers and leaders that they need to leave where they were trained, and possibly old ways, and find their own self-identify. This journey requires them to leave their comfort zone, often on a perilous journey. There will be several tests, but by staying true to themselves they will be stronger leaders under the hardest tests.
Usually when something new is proposed it is ridiculed while it is fresh. Abraham had to go through a lot as my first messenger of monotheism. Consistent hard work is the key. If someone is dedicated and puts in the effort, no matter what their upbringing or background, they can succeed. I like the following two quotes in relation to Abraham:
“When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.” – Leo Burnett
“Defeat doesn’t finish a man- quit does. A man is not finished when he’s defeated. He’s finished when he quits.” – Richard M. Nixon
3) Eliezer- Eliezer was a loyal servant par excellence. He was told what to do by his master and he did it. He didn’t complain nor did he question his mission. He was willing to undertake a difficult journey to find his master (Abraham) a bride for Isaac, and he was willing to forsake the option of his own daughter marrying Isaac. That is loyalty! I would encourage all managers to be loyal, not just to their masters (whether stakeholders, board members, customers, or employees), but to themselves. Being honest is a necessity. I’m not talking about white lies to prevent hurting someone’s feelings. I’m talking about any actions that show a conflict of interest. Even if Eliezer could have gotten away with saying he wasn’t able to find Isaac a wife and then marry his daughter to Isaac, I would have known. Similarly, I know when someone isn’t acting honestly and as the saying goes…there will be hell to pay. Managers need to be loyal to those around them. Yes, if someone does something wrong that loyalty can be tested or broken, but otherwise a person’s word should be their bond.
4) Sarah and Rebecca (a tie)- Most people think that the top leaders were men, but that is far from the truth. In terms of leaders who took charge and made a difference, Sarah and Rebecca were phenomenal. They both engaged in the same behavior- they managed and led their households in a way that forever shaped history. Sarah clearly saw the negative influence Ishmael had on Isaac. She realized that continued exposure would forever scar Isaac and that’s why she ordered Hagar and Ishmael to leave. That was a tough decision, but leaders must make tough decisions. Managers need to know the negative influences within an organization and either eliminate these nay-sayers or isolate them, so they don’t impact others. Otherwise, the entire organization will suffer. Similarly, Rebecca had twins who were pursuing different paths. Rebecca knew who was better able to lead her people. This didn’t mean that she didn’t love both her children, but she realized Jacob’s potential. Rebecca realized that a sales pitch founded on immediate gratification wouldn’t necessarily be able to convince skeptics which would require a cerebral argument- which is the skill Jacob possessed. A quick deal might lead to cognitive dissonance- buyer’s remorse- and wouldn’t it be better to create a long-term relationship based on trust rather than doing whatever was necessary to close a quick deal to earn a commission? Managers can learn from these strong women that women can make some of the best leaders due to their soft skills and ability to read people, often much better than men.
5) Jacob- Jacob is a great example of how to play the power-play game. He was the younger son, but the more deserving son to take over the family heritage. He used his brother’s apathy and demand for instantaneous reward to set the foundation for a future leadership role. In fact, he didn’t really become the leader I thought he would be until much later in life. A leader can learn from Jacob that it often takes years and years of paying your dues before your true opportunity arises. More importantly, I am disappointed when managers “play favorites.” Whether with his wives or children, Jacob unfortunately played favorites. Don’t get me wrong. Even if a manager likes one subordinate better than another, they shouldn’t act on such feelings, but rather base their treatment on actions undertaken by the subordinates so there exists tangible criteria upon which the manager can base their treatment. This will help avoid a lot of the “yes” men and women in the workplace as well as the backstabbing designed to undermine colleagues in the eyes of a manager. Thus, one of the key lessons learned from Jacob is to know the family/business dynamic and when one plays favorites it can backfire.
6) Joseph- Joseph started his life as a lowly shepherd but matured very quickly. He was faced with several hardships from jealous brothers, a boss’s lecherous wife, envious security guards in prison, and all of Pharaoh’s advisors. Yet, with all these challenges, he persevered. In the Bible you will see that from the time he translated Pharaoh’s dream (with a little help from me) until his death, you will not find my name mentioned. I didn’t guide him. I took a more hands-off mentoring approach, and he thrived. Joseph came up with the strategy to stockpile wheat, gather the country’s wealth for Pharaoh, relocate his family to Goshen, develop an inventory management system, and develop a tax system. All this occurred without abusing his power, without alienating the priests, and being loyal and honest to Pharaoh. Leaders can look to Joseph as an empowering tale. Managers should get the right folks in position then get out of the way, provide the necessary resources, and enjoy the ride. If leaders don’t trust their subordinates, get in the way, micromanage resources, and instill no trust, then their managers will never succeed- nor will the leader.
7) Pharaoh- The Pharaoh in the time of Joseph might not seem like a good leader. However, he was able to keep his people alive and grow the importance and power of Egypt during his reign by hiring the right people and getting out of the way. Thus, if I’m giving props to Joseph, I need to also extoll the leadership skills exercised by the Pharaoh he reported to. But even the subsequent bad Pharaoh in the Moses story needs some respect. While there is a debate whether the new Pharaoh survived his downfall at the Red Sea, and if he went on to rule Nineveh (I’m not going to say), the story of learning from past tragedy is important. In Ninveh, Jonah warned the leader about the people’s transgression and the king immediately changed his actions and the actions of his people to save the city. Imagine if this was the same Pharaoh who was stiff-necked with Moses, but learned his lesson and immediately changed course when he was confronted by another Godly messenger. Leaders constantly need to learn that those with hard hearts will fail very quickly and disastrously. Thus, have an open heart and accept honest criticism.
8) Moses- Moses received significant royal training in Pharaoh’s palace, similarly to how many MBAs are conferred from top universities. However, that training didn’t prepare him for the real world. When he saw what happened outside the palace walls, he changed his attitude and figured out what was important. It was only after he completed his training as a shepherd for his father-in-law, did Moses really understand what it took to supervise others. I called him to action, and he was very reluctant to accept my assignment. His assignment was to take my people out of Egypt. He did this successfully and he listened to all my commands. His loyalty was great until the burden of leadership weighed too much on him. I actually never thought he would lead my children into the Promised Land, but he did a great job for almost 40 years, and I was proud of his loyalty. Current leaders can find significant lessons from Moses from how to create the ideal corporate structure for a given time, to loyalty and ultimate sacrifice for those in their charge. A manager needs to ask specific questions and request guidance from their leader(s) and Moses exemplified this through constantly asking for advice, assistance, and guidance.
9) Aaron- Aaron was Moses’s brother and right-hand man. He was the first priest for my people. However, he was much more. I affectionately called him Rodef Shalom in Hebrew which means a pursuer of peace. While Moses sometimes had to use a heavy hand to deal with rebellions, Aaron used his peace-making skills. A classic example of bad cop – good cop. Every organization needs a pursuer of peace to help resolve conflicts and I think Aaron was the epitome of this. He didn’t boast, didn’t have any fancy vehicles, and he didn’t live above the people. He was an average person who did his job well even in the face of countless abuse. He also did not pursue greatness. His brother pushed him into accepting the priesthood. Today’s managers need to know how to develop the ability to spread peace throughout an organization. An organization in harmony with its employees, investors, and customers will run smoothly. Maybe every organization needs a CHO- a Chief Harmony Officer. Today’s CEO can also learn from Aaron that it is better to accept a leadership opportunity when presented and capable of handling the job rather than setting out to be a leader. Let it come naturally. Yes, Aaron made a mistake with the Golden Calf, and he ate himself up about it. But he thought it was the right thing to do while trying to delay the people and prevent infighting.
10) Joshua- Joshua was the ultimate leader in my book. He spent his formative years assisting Moses, sitting at his feet to hone his skills and knowledge. He fought against Amalek and defeated them. He was one of the twelve spies that entered the Promised Land, and he was only one of two who returned with a positive report. Moses transferred power to him in a very public manner which gave Joshua significant legitimacy. He learned from Moses’ failures, such as sending two spies to Jericho who reported only to him. Joshua knew who his trusted star workers were and assigned them the task. That contrasted sharply with the 12 spies who Moses sent out and gave their report to the entire people. With Moses, the people chose the spies and they rebelled when they were given a report they interpreted in a negative light. Joshua succeeded in conquering most of the Promised Land, so he did what he was supposed to do. Managers should learn from Joshua that when they start their journey, they need to anticipate a long journey with many ups and downs. Through planning and relying on trusted stars, the journey could be less harrowing. Joshua didn’t try to obtain immediate success at the highest level. He paid his dues and like the tortoise, he beat the hare through diligence, loyalty, and hard work.
I scanned the list and was really impressed by God’s choices and his explanation. “Can I ask several follow-up questions?”
“Sure.”
“You said in the Bible that Noah was righteous in his generation, is that the context issue we were discussing earlier?”
“Yes, Noah was righteous in his time. He was the most righteous in his time and that is why he merited being saved. Abraham was the most righteous in his generation. Every generation will have its own challenges and I provide each generation with at least one great leader. I ensure that there are 36 righteous people in every generation upon whose merit the world still stands. They’re my emissaries. They’re also hidden so most people don’t know who they are. When people encounter them, they feel elevated and blessed. Remember Gandhi and Mother Teresa- two of those wonderful 36.”
I had been focusing on the sheet the Lord gave me that it took me a couple seconds to see the screens were lit up. The Lord was motioning to all the images.
An image popped up on the screen. It was a simple picture of a person walking a dog. I did not know what to make of the picture.
“Who is walking whom in the photo Sam?”
“Obviously, the man is walking the dog.” I was waiting for the confetti to rain from the ceiling but that didn’t happen.
“Sam, the dog is in front of the person. It appears that the dog is leading the owner when the owner leads the dog. I know this is going to sound harsh, but today’s leaders are the owners, and the people are the dogs. Leaders need to remind the people what are the right things to do, instead of listening to the most popular or current trends which might be very misplaced. This doesn’t mean that the people are bad, evil, or wrong- but “group mind think” can cause, as an example, discriminatory actions. It’s not right for the leader to follow that popular trend. A true leader would say that discrimination is inappropriate and lead the people to stop such practices. That’s what your leaders can do and that’s what people should demand from their leaders regardless of whether they are political leaders or business leaders.”
“Wow, people acting as dogs. I never thought of that analogy, but it seems very fitting. That reminds me of a quote from Damian Grace that states:
“Ethical conduct is not a matter of conformity to some preset plan. It is more concerned with acceptable and desirable parameters of conduct.””
“I like that quote Sam. How about this quote from Jonathan Swift, “we have just enough religion to make us hate one another but not enough to make us love one another.”
Here I was engaged in a quote throw down with the Lord. What will happen next? I might have to pull out one of my key business quotes and drop the mike on God. I laughed at the thought, and I think the Lord was going to be up for the challenge. I continued with my questions.
“Now what do you mean that Abraham was alone after he returned from attempting to sacrifice his son Isaac?”
“Some journeys take a significant toll. A great leader knows when they have exceeded their usefulness. Too many leaders overstay their peak effective years and then take down their organization. The decline occurs because they refuse to realize that they’re hurting their organization. Now Abraham was a great leader and underwent several tough tests to prove his loyalty. His last test involved his son and tested his loyalty. Yes, he passed the test, but the test took so much out of him and his family that it left him isolated and alone. His wife Sara died during that trip back at home and his son left him after the test. Leaders need to understand that some battles might be won, but they could lead to losing the war. Abraham won the battle by showing his loyalty… but lost the war…and then got back up and kept fighting. The fruits of his labor were only witnessed years later through his true disciples- his sons and grandchildren. We often don’t see the fruits of our battles until years later rather than the quick results so many people want.”
I scanned my notes and the list I was given. My hands were still shaking that I had a memo from the Lord. I almost thought to myself how much I could possibly get for the memo if I listed it on eBay? I saw the Lord smile and shake his finger at me. I gazed back at the list.
“God, I have a clarification of the Top Ten List. Which Pharaoh did you include in your list because there have a been several of them?”
“I was thinking about the Pharaoh whose dreams were interpreted by Joseph.”
“So, what do you think about the subsequent Pharaoh as he was able to build Pithom and Ramseys, but he also caused so much pain and suffering to your people?”
Up on the screen popped up a before and after picture. The only reason I knew that was that the screens were labeled Pithom then and the other Pithom now.
“The Egyptians at that time thrived on the suffering of others Sam. In the Bible I insert a lot of rules to protect the downtrodden. The Israelites had the experience from working under the Egyptians that they would hopefully internalize these rules and not oppress others- whether slaves, orphans, or widows. I am so dedicated to protecting the plight of the poor and downtrodden I included 36 references in the Bible about protecting strangers. Some of the best lessons are learned from what others are doing wrong, and enslaving others-whether physically or emotionally through bullying in the workplace- is wrong. Plain and simple. ‘Don’t do it.’”
“I know that you are not trying to play favorites but didn’t a number of your key followers play favorites and those relationships were “toxic”.” If the Lord could use air quotes, I felt I could throw in one at this point.
“Toxic is a tough word. I think there were several dysfunctional families in the Bible. Just like real life, there will always be drama. It is like the Jane the Virgin television show and how it made fun of the telenovella shows. But don’t you think Sam that if you could overcome such issues, it will make you stronger? Some people wallow in self-pity because of issues, real or imagined, that have impacted them. I mean having your brothers try to kill you and then sell you into slavery is low and harsh. Much more straining than a brother stealing a girl friend from another brother.”
Up on the screen popped up a picture of my brother…and one of my old girl friends. I was so mad at him when he stole her from me…but in retrospect he was doing me a favor. At the time it was painful, and I said some very harsh words. In hindsight, he did me such a favor as my next girlfriend ended up being my wife. And that old girlfriend…well who knows. Oh yes, the Lord knows. Up on the screen appeared a picture of a middle-aged woman. I assumed it was my old girlfriend and the Lord nodded to signal agreement with my assessment. She looked good…and happy. I guess everything turns out well in the end…It is that context thing. I was mad for a bit, but I moved on.
“Sam, did Joseph focus just on revenge? No, he kept moving forward. It would have been nice to reach out to his family, but maybe he and they needed space and when they finally met, they were all able to move forward. You should use conflict as a powerful tool for good. Some of the best ideas and products come from conflict-but let’s try to make it constructive conflict.”
