What do you Think About the Blame Game?
I hope my questions did not ruin the Lord’s plans for the day, I’d hate to have been blamed for usurping his time. That got me thinking about blame… One pet peeve was how so many managers deflect blame to others. It is never their fault. They find someone else to blame. Yes, some leaders are willing to accept responsibility, but that is not the norm.
“Throughout this interview Lord, I have heard you sometimes blame the people or their leaders for their misdeeds. Such blame is of course justified. However, what do you think about those managers who blame others for the manager’s mistakes? This is different than a manager who blames people as a strategy rather than trying to correct poor or inappropriate behavior.”
“Sam, I like the following quote from Brendan Kennelly, ‘The devil is always blaming someone. Bricks of blame pave the floor of Hell.’”
“Sam, it’s not just people blaming others for their mistakes. Some put the blame in writing to cover their rear side. Most memos and business documents are not designed to showcase success, but to protect the writer from future possible blame. Recall when you sent a memo last week to your editor concerning the Smith article? You sent that because you did not think the article should be pulled and you wanted documentation to show in the future what your position was. That is a perfect example of how a workplace could be filled with fear and people are scarred to make decisions for fear of being blamed or criticized for a wrong decision.”
“I wrote the Bible to help people realize they are going to have both good and bad times. If you only document the bad times, you will miss all the good times. Thus, as often as possible written communication should contain both positive and negative statements when appropriate. The more positive, the more it should be shouted throughout the organization and to all other constituents. It is so much easier to praise than to criticize, but I see the proof in the pudding, and it is normally the exact opposite- more negative, less positive. People spend way too much time criticizing Sam. Don’t they know how counterproductive that is? As Cicero said over 2000 years ago, “everything you reprove in another, you must carefully avoid in yourself.”
I thought that blaming often happens when one feels they have a position of strength over another. Some managers utilize blame to hide their fears or insecurity. I had seen so many managers who were quick to blame, but very stingy in terms of praise. I wondered why that was the case when it is so easy to praise, yet so few do it- and fewer people do it well.
I decided to drop the mic on the Lord with my own knowledge of quotes. “Well Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’” Down went the mic. And from the ceiling an actual microphone fell to the floor.
“Lord, I feel when people are competing, they might feel more compelled to blame someone for their loss. It’s always about excuses. When someone blames everyone and everything else, it hampers their ability to find the underlying issue that could help them win in the future. But in the same vein, an employee should not be a punching bag for others and if they do not deserve blame, they need to push back. Maybe that is why I wrote the memo. I was punching back because I knew I might face the blame in the future. I was making myself feel inferior rather than taking the high road.”
“You got it, Sam. Did Abraham, Sara, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob, Leah, or Rachel blame others for all their hardships? Joseph probably had the most to complain about, yet he did not blame anyone. He could have blamed his parents, brothers, Ishmaelite traders, Potiphor, Potiphor’s wife, the prison warden, the wine stewards, and even Pharaoh’s advisors. But he did not. Joseph was laser focused and that is why he was so successful. Less blaming- more planning pays off.”
I guess this was going to be one of the harder points to share with my readers because there are two parties to the blame game. There is one who blames, and then the person who is being blamed.
“This one might be a hard pill to swallow for my readers, Lord. A manager can try to minimize blaming and foster a more inclusive environment. However, there will be insecure subordinates who are defensive and will try to protect themselves at all costs, even if the environment is positive and fostering. There are always two sides to the coin.”
“Sam, your readers might be looking for simple solutions, but there are numerous issues without simple answers. However, in this case there is an answer. It is being holy. When managers and subordinates are working for the same holy goal, they should be on the same page and will work together rather than apart to achieve that goal. That can allow a more positive environment where hopefully future interactions would be based on past trust and experiences. It isn’t perfect, but it could be the start of reversing the blame game.”
