Does Adversity Make Someone Stronger?

Before I could jump to my next question, I was prompted by the Lord.

“Sam, I like to see how people respond to adversity.”

The Lord turned to the screen, on which popped up a video of the time I was fired from one of my first full-time jobs in the newspaper field. I was so shaken back then, and I was despondent for weeks afterwards. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what I had done and whether I could have done anything different. Those were intense feelings back then and even now, that memory still hurts.

“Sam, adversity provides the hope and drive that mankind needs. As Lord Byron stated, ‘Adversity is the first path to truth.’”

I thought for a second and pulled out my own quote from my head. “Well Francis Bacon said, if I remember correctly, ‘Prosperity doth best discover vice; but adversity doth best discover virtue.’”

“I like that one as well. What has been the greatest adversity you have faced Sam?”

I guess coming up with a quote was a lot easier than trying to come up with the best example of adversity. Yes, the firing had felt big at the time, but was it my greatest adversity?  I thought about the troubles I had in school. I also thought about career challenges I faced, including having to support my family on a meager salary. It was hard coming up with the ‘best’ example.  I was stuck trying to determine the greatest adversity I’d ever face. I wondered if the Lord could supply me with a top ten list, no specific order needed. I started looking around the room to get inspiration from the screens- but they were blank now. Then I caught the Lord’s eyes looking right at me.

“Son, do you think the greatest adversity you ever faced was the death of your father?”

I had not thought about him. How could I have forgotten the man who helped shape my life?  My mentor?  Yes, he had passed away around 15 years earlier, but how had it been so easy for me to forget that traumatic time of my life?  I guess time can heal many wounds, but the Lord just pulled off a big scab and I was going to start bleeding again.

“He is doing well in Heaven. He is extremely proud of you and the man you have become. He is especially proud of how you handled the stress of his passing and then handling all the issues with his estate. That showed courage. You didn’t want to burden your siblings, so you took the hit for the family team with all the burial planning, lawyers, headaches, and heartbreak.”

Up on the screen appeared a video of my father. He looked like he did at the time of his passing. He was waiving at me and gave me a thumbs up sign. He held up a sign that said ‘give my love to the family and kids. Your kids rock! Tell them I am happy and doing well up here…yes, I made it up here with Mom!’

“Is that really him?” I whispered; my voice suddenly became tight.

“Normally I do not let people see those on the other side, but I thought that showing you your father could help your healing better than an anonymous angel.”

It took me a second to return to the interview. When the Lord suggested my father’s death, I did not think of it as a trial or hardship, I just thought it was my responsibility.

“It could have been your responsibility Sam, but many people do not undertake their responsibility. It’s like the Israelite slave overseers in Egypt. Pharaoh ordered them to make the Jews work harder, produce more bricks, and to not provide them with any straw. They could have done what they were told as it was their job, their responsibility. They knew the hardship the Jews would face. They also knew that if they didn’t obey Pharaoh they would be punished and possibly killed. What would you do?  What would most people do?  I hope you and everyone would take the hit for the team and do what benefited the most people…and that is in fact what they did. They disobeyed Pharaoh.”

“That is the ultimate sacrifice, Sam. I do not think everyone needs to give such a sacrifice, but so many people in the Bible went through adversity. Adam had his test and challenges and he failed. Noah had his challenges and persevered—but became a different man in the process. Everyone in fact had a challenge, a test, an obstacle. Every prophet faced criticism…that is what made them effective…they would tell the people or the king they are doing things wrong and then they would be ridiculed. I dare you to name one person in the Bible who did not face hardships.”

Instead of trying to prove my ignorance, I just responded, “Never bet against God.”

“That would be a great bet. I wonder what the Vegas odds would be, Sam?” The Lord continued.

“Sam, we all make mistakes or face challenges, and every manager will also suffer adversity from time to time. It’s human nature. Adversity can sometimes be linked to a sin or doing something wrong. Not always, but sometimes adversity is a byproduct of sin. This is especially true for managers who must act in a hostile environment where the competition might not play fair. It is not just the competition. Sometimes the people a manager manages create adversity. In contrast to a judge or priest who has set laws they have to follow; a manger or leader has no one-size-fits-all response because every situation is different.”

“Wait, I thought you said earlier that the Bible is the ultimate rulebook? Wouldn’t that be the law for managers?”

“In general, Sam, yes. However, this brings us back to the context issue.”

Ah, always back to context.

“For example, last week at your office, there was a dispute among your coworkers as to who should fill the coffeepot. Does the Bible even mention coffee? I was tempted to put it in there, but I was afraid to offend the cocoa people. It’s like the never-ending battle between the cat and dog people. But I digress…”

“One could read in the Bible that the lower-level person shouldn’t have to be asked to refill the coffeepot because it represents the power dynamic in the workplace. But what if the senior executive wants to refill the pot as a goodwill gesture? At that point, it is not about the office policy, it’s about human choice and whether some people will do the right thing or not. Perhaps the one that drank the last cup should be the one to refill the pot. In your case, Stacy, who drank the last cup forgot to refill the pot. It was not malicious. But reluctantly, her boss Jack decided to fill the pot himself, even though he wasn’t the responsible party. Bruce saw this interaction and went to human resources to complain that workplace rules were not being followed. That is what required half an hour of your boss’ time for what could have been an easy solution.”

“I guess, there’s not a set rule on how to handle coffeepot disputes in the Bible.”

“Wasting time is a sin, Sam. It disrupts time that could’ve been doing other, more productive things. It’s like a journey. Your path to destination will have unexpected detours, some of these will be frustrating and a huge inconvenience. But sometimes getting lost on the journey produces the most memorable moments of any given trip. Thus, if we learn from these adverse situations, we can create better workplace moments for everyone.”

“Sam, adversity is part of the leadership journey. All lessons learned by leaders and followers can help them go forward. They can learn what to do and what not to do. Adversity can make one stronger. If they break the rules as the easy solution, it can make the journey longer, harder, or more torturous. Think about it like cheating to win a game. Yes, there could be a lot of pressure and adversity faced by an athlete-especially when playing against a better or more experienced opponent. Just think how sweet the victory would be if the weaker athlete prevailed and followed all the rules. When a leader is holy and faces adversity with doing the right thing in the right context, then they will show their true strength.”

To avoid the sin of wasting the Lord’s time, I moved on to the next topic.